This month, we’re diving into the topic of habits—not just because it’s the beginning of a new year and people are making new years resolutions, or because nearly 50% of the people who make new years resolutions abandon them by the end of January. It's partly because I genuinely want to help the women joining me in my Get WED Bible reading plan succeed in their goal to read through the Bible in 52 weeks, by creating the habit of getting into the word everyday, for just 15 minutes.

But the truth is, habits are like the flowers and weeds and fruit trees in the garden of our lives, they are the substance of our beings and we would be best served if we talked about them and learnt about them and assessed our own frequently! 

Last week I published a video on YouTube where I shared one of the key reasons why I believe most people have a low success rate when it comes to integrating healthy habits and achieving goals. I believe that when we add this missing link to the process of goal setting and habit forming, only then can we truly experience the transformation we aspire towards, and even with a measure of ease!  Another blocker that makes it challenging for women, specifically, to see sustained progress when it comes to habits and goals is that we take a masculine approach. 

Habits shape our lifestyles and influence the way we relate with ourselves, God, and the world around us. They’re worth discussing—over and over again—until we learn to master them in the same way an artist masters her craft. That is what it means to pursue your life's mastery.

I have a little bit of a geek in me, and I really like her! She appears when Im around words, and likes to look up their meaning.

When I looked up the word “habit” in the dictionary, I found it defined as “a settled or regular tendency or practice, especially one that is hard to give up.” But what intrigued me most was the origin of the word.

The word “habit” was first used in the 13th century, initially referring to clothing. Its Latin roots include “habere” (to have or to consist of) and “habitus” (condition or state of being). It makes me think of the word inhabit (to live or dwell) or even habitat which is the natural environment of an organism, the place that is natural for the life and growth of that organism. 

Often time when working with my clients I've used this analogy that we are helping them learn how to "tend to the garden within" or discovering what kind of atmosphere they best thrive in and learning how to create, sustain and expand that. It's a really beautiful way to learn to live, hence "Living Beautifully Initiative." 

Our habits are like the clothes we wear—they define our state of being. If we don’t like how we’re “clothed,” or the lifestyle we’re living, nothing will change until we examine our habits and learn how to change our metaphorical wardrobe.

When Habits Become Identity

What's all too common is that too many of us confuse our habits with our core identity.
For instance:

• We might have a temper and tell ourselves, “I’m an angry person.”
• We might habitually forget to respond to texts or calls and say, “That’s just how I am. I’m forgetful.”

These beliefs bind us to habits that rob us of the lives we were made for because we will never live out of alignment with who we truly, believe we are. A lot of the worry, anxiety, relationship struggles, overwhelm, underwhelm and over all dissatisfactions in life are symptoms of maligned identity. This is why when we muster up all the will power we can and determine ourselves to make a change we experience resistance, or its hard to maintain, or we blatantly fail, or give up to defeat altogether. Habits are the symptoms of systems and everything we do is a habit, a practice. Some are healthy and life giving, others are dysfunctional and draining. 

Societally, we put a lot of effort into behavioral modification but if we would just take the time to deal with the root systems, the behavior would transform with ease. We don't need more willpower, we need heart attuning and mind renewing. 

Sadly, many people live this way —accepting their habits as unchangeable while allowing them to determine, and even undermine, the quality of their lives and relationships. 

For years, I believed I was a depressed, unorganized person without the skills required to succeed. I had a developed a history of toxic and destructive relationships and really believed there was something deeply and fundamentally flawed with me. I didn't know it at the time but I believed that I was unlovable and that I would never live a "normal" life. On top of that, I had been labeled with diagnoses like “depressed,” “anxious,” “PTSD,” and “PMDD.” These life altering labels felt like a prison, and they made me look toward the future with little hope, I'll be honest, with none. 

Then, one day, I felt the Holy Spirit whisper gently but firmly to my heart:
“Who are you going to believe? Are you going to live under the labels others have placed on you, or will you rise into who I say you are?”

Read that again. 

Breaking Free from Labels

We live in a world obsessed with labels—both for others and ourselves. It’s human natures basic primal instinct to want to categorize and control, our survival drive depends on it. It's almost like we walk around with our little invisible label making machines and we type and print up words and paste them on peoples foreheads;  “selfish,” “irritating,” “toxic,” “addict,” “lazy,” “irresponsible,” “dramatic,” “too much” I could go on but ill stop with a really trendy label our culture loves to throw around “narcissist.” Don’t get me started on that one! 

But here’s the truth: labels don’t define us. They only reflect habits or patterns we’ve picked up along the way. And habits can be changed—like clothes we no longer wish to wear.

A Biblical Perspective on Changing Habits

In my Bible reading this morning (Week 2, Day 4 of the Get WED plan) I came across a passage that resonated deeply. God tells Jacob to go to Bethel, settle there, and build an altar. In preparation, Jacob tells his household (which was more of a tribe at this point) to get rid of their foreign gods, purify themselves, and change their clothes.

In Scripture, old clothes often symbolize life before knowing God. Changing clothes represents stepping into the “new creation” that Jesus calls us to. It’s an invitation to live differently. Jesus wants to lead us into a lifestyle that is made of up different habits, or practices. 

So what if we stopped saying, “This is just the way I am,” and started asking, “Is this a habit I can take off? And what new habit could I put on instead?” Or, even better, "what is Jesus offering in exchange?"

Transformation begins here: when we stop owning what no longer serves us, and quit frankly what we were not meant for, and begin intentionally aligning our lives with what calls to our hearts, our natural habitat.

Turning Limitations into Strengths

For years, I hated being a highly sensitive person. It felt like a limitation. Yes, I had to put in the work to stop taking things personally and to clear the distorted filters I saw life through, I still put in the work, it's a practice. 

But as I grew, I realized my sensitivity wasn’t a weakness—it's a gift.

• I care deeply.
• I feel deeply.
• I sense and perceive things others don't.
• I hear what others can’t hear and see what others don’t see.
  These qualities allow me to guide others toward healing and freedom. Once I learnt to tend to myself and the life I live with new practices, my sensitivity trait became one of my strengths. 

What part of yourself  do you consider a constraint and how might it become the gift you have to offer the world around you if you dealt with the root systems that rob you (and the world) of your strength? 

The Process of Renewal

Changing habits is not a one-time event; it’s a lifestyle. It’s an ongoing process of assessing and aligning. I’ve mastered some areas, but there are dimensions of my life I’ve yet to explore. That’s the beauty of living—it’s a constant journey of practice, growth, refinement, and mastery.

In biblical terms, this process is called sanctification—the ongoing transformation of becoming more aligned with God’s original design of who you are, and for your life. It’s personal development at its most profound level. You can't get to that level of freedom with basic self help principles, it's a journey of true transformation. 

The Invitation to Transform

Habits aren’t your identity. They’re simply the clothes you wear, and you have the power to change them, and all of heaven backing you. By doing so, you can step into a life that aligns with your true essence—a life of empowerment, beauty, wholeness and freedom.

So let me leave you with this question:
What habits are you ready to take off, and what new habits will you put on to clothe yourself in the fullness of Life God has for you?

If you're not sure, or you're not sure how, I'm happy help, and I'm committed to continuing to create conscious content to do so. If you want more, you can always take a few moments to fill out this Readiness Assessment and together we can see what the next best step for you might be on your Living Beautifully Journey. 

There is so much hope, we do not have to settle in any area of our lives! We can live beautiful and flourishing lives of soul prosperity, it's a practice! And whatever we practice, we master.

Until next time remember, information without application does not create transformation, so integrate what you're learning and keep growing!